12 things you only EVER do when drunk

Drinking sessions always start off innocent enough. But after your sixth brew things suddenly get a bit weird and you find yourself doing things that you would never, EVER, do when sober. Below are Avant Garde’s top twelve things you only do when you’re drunk and shamefully between us we’ve done em all. What about you?

1) Fall asleep in random places

Park benches, toilets, mate’s couches, random corridors, bar tables and bus garages, there’s just no telling where you’re drunken adventure will take you until you pass out. Every surface has the potential to be your bed for the night and if nothing else it’ll make the wake up and hung-over stumble home a bit of an adventure too.






2) Convince yourself that the hot shot girl really is into you

Cos right now you’re god’s gift to the opposite sex and there’s just no way she’s just being nice to you for your money right? £4.50 a shot? Bargain! Why, I don’t even have to queue at the bar, that’s convenience right there, and she wants to do a shot WITH me guys; if that’s not true love then I don’t know what is




3) Get naked

 Yup cos clothing is just over rated and flashing is always classy.

4) Beer goggles

"Yeah did you check out that girl I got with last night she was a total 10". Then your mates show you the picture and you die a little inside

5) Karaoke King

Beer actually enhances your ability to sing. FACT. So in theory the more you drink odds are the better you’re sound. Therefore wailing at the top of your voice and subsequently butchering every classic song on the machine’s playlist is a good idea. “Woooooooaah we’re half way theeeeeeere WOOOOOOAH LIIIVNG on a PRAYYYER”…well at least you’ll think you sound good

6) That there’s nothing that you can’t do and can prove it too

“There is no way you can jump that gate”

“Ummm I’m pretty sure that I can, check it calves of steel, I can hop over that no problem”

“Go on then”

“Alright I will”

 One trip to A&E later, point proved, best…idea…ever

7) Money is no object

You’ve just been paid, your fav song has just come on in the nightclub, and you’re with your mates. Everything is right with the world and suddenly you feel like the most generous person in it. Hell yeah you can afford to buy a round of Double shot Jagerbombs for you and your ten best mates. No it’s fine lads, it’s on me…

8) Buy a feast of fast food

Yeah I’ll take one Big burger meal, quarter pounder, extra fries, 20 chicken nuggets, ummm a cheeseburger, the strawberry milkshake, NO the chocolate, NO actually the strawberry, oh, and make the meal a large. Yeah that should do me. Until 5hrs later, hungover, you’ll be reacquainted with what you ate last night.

9) Travel on the *shudders* night bus

How did you end up on this trundling abode of the damned? You were so determined to make the last train home but instead went for the short term pleasure of another round. Now you have a long ass wait in the freezing cold, followed by packing into an over-crowded bus and can enjoy the longest ever stop-start journey wedged between a guy sleeping on your shoulder and some dude who looks like he’s one more jolt away from throwing up on you. Worth it.

10) Drunk texting

To be fair the fact that even in your intoxicated state you’ve managed to get past your phones confounded screen lock is pretty impressive. So why can’t the girl you’ve decided to text at 3 in the morning understand that the random mish mash of letters you’re sending her are actually your undying declarations of love. That’s romantic right? That is until she txts you to bugger off or ignore you completely. There’s no way it could get worse. And then you press the dial button…..

11) Tell everyone you love em
Your girlfriend, your mates, that guy you met at the bar five minutes ago

“No seriously, you’re not listen....listening to what I’m saying: I really, really, really....REALLY love you, you’re AWESOME!!!”

12) Order Tequila shots

GOD NO!!!

NO ONE orders this sober! It just tastes awful and quite frankly is only ordered for novelty purposes. Cue ritual of salt lick, down disgusting liquid, bite lime, resist urge to throw up instantly

Angelic Rogue

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