Men's Health Survival of the Fittest

“I sometimes think that running has given me a glimpse of the greatest freedom a man can ever know, because it results in the simultaneous liberation of both body and mind”

Roger Bannister, set the original record for fastest mile, First four minutes (1955)

Years of living like a student - the excess booze, the wild parties, the fast food culinary decisions, a woefully disproportionate ratio of Xbox to gym time - I’d slipped into a dangerous lifestyle routine that was fast taking its toll. Throw in the recent reportage that inactivity is the fourth leading cause of premature death worldwide and that lack of exercise is as bad for your health as smoking …my god if those facts were true I was a walking corpse. Enough was enough. In a bid to put myself on the road to physical and mental redemption I entered into the Men’s Health ‘Survival of the Fittest’, wrote a log and would maybe, just maybe, get fit in the process.

Mid-September - 2 Months to go
Well, entry fee’s paid and one way or another this race is happening. Whether I cross the finish line as a crippled, wheezing shell of a man or as a bloke in his prime, is down to the work I put in from now. We decided to enter as a team, which I've yet to decide is a good or a bad thing. On the one hand yes I’ll be running with the lads from Avant-Garde, we can help and spur one another on (like freakin ninjas!) but on the other hand both Dandy and Ne’er-do-Well are built like whippets. Seriously, the boys are like broom sticks in comparison to me and I can’t be the one who slows everyone down. I've got two months to train. Two months to transform. It’s time to get serious.

Mid-October - 1 month to go
Ok so running a 10k isn’t a marathon (I’m gaining a lot of respect for the people who do put themselves through that btw) but it’s a fair old slog that you’re expected to be fast at. This past month has been all about breaking into a regular jog routine and getting my distance and stamina up. For anyone who knows the area, the hill up to Blackheath is my Everest. You go up that at a pace and you’ll definitely be feeling it by the time you get to the top, rendering you pathetic and useless whilst you gulp down air. It’s been tough. On top of that it’s not just the run, there’s going be numerous obstacles on the day. Casting an eye over the map they all look like fun but they’re purpose built to put other muscle groups to the test and designed to drain your energy and endurance throughout.

My new pair of running shoes, bought at the start of the summer, are definitely paying off though. An old pair of trainers won’t be much good if you’re heading out 3-4 times a week and your feet will be feeling it if you do, so the £100 investment I spent on these bad boys are worth every penny. Like running on air.
I’ve learnt however that Dandy and Ne’er do well didn’t even sign up! (the bastards). So now this bird is flying solo and left as the sole representative of Avant-Garde on the day. Good thing I didn’t make t-shirts….

End of October - 2 weeks to go
I decided to give up the beer….which lasted all of an afternoon before being invited out. But I have been cutting back on the pints, even around my birthday to keep my body in form. I joke about being old, but now I’ve actually hit my mid-twenties, I’m noticing the streaks of silver in my hair. Could I pull off the style and sophistication of a silver mane? Obviously. But now that I’m scaling my timeline this is just one more reason to get into better shape.

They say you get addicted to exercise. Something that was considered with much scepticism as the Indian summer rather quickly turned into early winter conditions. Runs in the rain and gusty winds increasingly became the norm but strangely enough once I sorted a route that I enjoyed I began to look forward to my evening runs over Blackheath. Plus at night there are less people about up there so you can really tear it up. Con: potholes.

The other thing I’ve noticed is that instead of a steady scale of improvement when you train you’ll actually have good and bad days. My last session had my legs lock up halfway through which was a bit of an indicator that I've been doing too much too quickly, but generally speaking I’m feeling more confident and my times are getting faster.

November - One week to go

This week I’m taking it fairly easy, just a couple of runs to keep my muscles limber and prepped for the weekend. I had the chance to go for a country run, where I thought ‘hey change of scenery, some fresh air, sounds lovely’. Cue a 40 minute haphazard trudge, slipping down muddy tracks, falling into a bog and getting chased by farm dogs. Still there will be some mud obstacles on the day so it wasn’t a complete waste.

17th November 2012 - Race Day
So it was finally here. A short journey into London Battersea Power station saw a hapless lad clad in a hugging Lycra top and bold lime green shorts awash in a sea of 12000 contenders, each about to embark on a race and test their mettle. The countdown began, the atmosphere was buzzing, the adrenaline high. Spectators lined either side of the first obstacle: barricades of hay bales and entrance to the parkor zone, and from the blare of music and cheers: “3…2…1…Go!”

For proof that I  did actually do it check the handsome chap in the green shorts

Slam! I bounded over the last of the obstacles on the army assault course with ease, I’d had a bit of a recurring nightmare that I’d get over the first obstacle and be out of breath but as we dashed around the perimeter of the station and into Battersea Park I was going strong. With the fast and flat dash ahead, through the park and around the hurdled steeple chase, this was where my training was paying off. With some more space and in my element, I was overtaking others but had to keep my head and remember to pace myself. Still it was clear on the other side as we tumbled through the tunnel of tyres and back into the urban jungle obstacles that people were beginning to flag, unable to get the speed together to scale the ramps and leaps up and over the lorry trucks. I left them in my dust AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

30 mins later: Half jumping/half flailing into a lift and crawl obstacle called ‘the box’ I’m absolutely shattered. I began feeling it inside the power station hauling a big ass sack of wet sand over some hurdles, but the intense sprints interspersed with tricky climbs and scrambles through ice, mulch, mud and water had drained everything I had. So now covered in mud, soaked to the bone, muscles screaming and breathing hard, I crawled out to see the final obstacle, the 10ft Wall of Fame, towering above me. This was all that stood between me and the finish line. The herculean amongst us could manage it – but only just, others would half heatedly scramble midway up, shake their heads and walk around. There was only one thing for it: a cheeky leg -up and one final push of raw determination saw me up, then turning back I grabbed the arm of the bloke who helped me and hauled him over. Any other day we would have been complete strangers but today we were brothers in arms united in our cause. We’d done it. I had survived the Men’s Health Survival of the fittest.

A video of 2011's race to give you an idea (2012 was tougher though)

So at the end of all this have I turned from an apathetic layabout into a real life greek Adonis? Well I’ve still got a ways to go until that happens but this was a damn good start. The average time for completion of the course on the day was 1hr 5 mins, I’d managed to get a result of 59 mins. More than that though I’m well on my way to a healthier lifestyle and have acquired a taste for competition. Will see you at next years!

Angelic Rogue

Images from Google Images and Men's Health and video from youtube. All image rights to their respective owners